My Peace Workbook
A trauma-informed educational wellness worksheet for reflection, choice, self-care, and support.

Use this at your own pace. Skip, adapt, pause, or stop. You are allowed to choose what fits your body, culture, privacy, energy, safety, access needs, and real-life limits today.

A printable reflection and practice resource Created by Michelle D. Elder, MSW, LMHC. This worksheet is a free educational wellness resource from My Reflective Collective.
Use what supports you. Skip, pause, adapt, or connect with a licensed therapist, healthcare provider, advocate, or trusted support if reflection brings something up.
THE CLOSING VOLUME
Choosing
Peace
Self-Love, Self-Care, and the Life Ahead
"The goal is not to become untouched by life.
It is to become deeply rooted in your own." A full-page planning workbook for building a healthier, happier, more peaceful future - one choice at a time.
VOLUME THREE
MY PEACE
Table of Contents
Begin with the page that meets today's need.
Before We Begin: Why Peace Belongs to You
What This Volume Offers and How to Use It
What I Want from This Volume
immediate danger or medical emergency. Call or text 988 in the U.S. or Canada for suicide or mental health
crisis support. Copyright Michelle
Disclaimer, Grounding, and Safety
6-8
Whole-Health and Live Resources
9-11
Eclectic Healing Practices
13-18
Putting Yourself First and Meeting Needs
19-20
Self-Love and Restorative Care
21-29
Identity, Community, Purpose, and Practical Peace
30-37
Future Planning and Healthy Love
38-44
Self-Care, Activity, and Accountability
45-50
Planning, Resources, and Closing
51-57
Expanded My Peace Experiences
58-61
MY PEACE
services.
Before We Begin: Why Peace Belongs to You
A note about building a life that does not require self-abandonment
Peace after a toxic relationship may not arrive as constant calm. It may first look like sleeping a little better, making one decision without explaining it, enjoying an ordinary afternoon, keeping a boundary, accepting help, or noticing that your body is no longer bracing in the same way.
My work as a licensed therapist has shown me that healing is personal, relational, cultural, physical, creative, and practical. My lived experience showed me that recovery also circles back. A hard day does not cancel the life you are building, and needing support again is not failure.
These pages bring together self-love, health, movement, rest, nature, creativity, community, purpose, accountability, and healthy connection. They are not a prescription for happiness. They are options you can test, adapt, and leave behind when they do not fit.
I hope that something which helped me - a question, a pause, a boundary, a green space, a small plan, or a reminder of worth - may help you in your own way. The goal is not to become a different person. It is to build a life where you can remain present as yourself.
Peace is not the reward for healing perfectly. It is something you are allowed to practice while you heal.
With care,
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
Why This Workbook Was Given to You - and How to Get the
Most From It
Use the closing volume to experiment with peace, not pressure yourself into a new performance.
This volume may have been offered because healing also needs somewhere to go. It helps turn insight into routines, relationships, health follow-up, joyful experiences, practical plans, and a future organized around dignity and peace.
For each chapter or guided experience (cid:127) Choose a time and place that feel private and steady enough. (cid:127) Read the short education, then select one prompt rather than completing everything at once. (cid:127) Try more than one pathway: thinking, body awareness, mindfulness, art, nature, conversation, or action. (cid:127) Notice what helps, what does not, and what needs adaptation. (cid:127) End by naming one small next step and one form of support. (cid:127) Return later; answers may change as safety, health, and confidence grow.
The best use of this workbook is not perfect completion.
It is discovering what helps you live more fully.
What would make this volume meaningful and usable for me? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
MY PEACE
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What I Want from This Volume
After learning what this volume offers, choose what you want to carry into it.
You have learned that this volume focuses on self-love, whole-person care, purpose, healthy connection, joy, accountability, and building a peaceful future. Name what you want peace to mean in your real life.
WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE FROM USING MY PEACE
WHAT I WANT TO PROCESS, RELEASE, BUILD, OR BEGIN HEALING
You may return to these answers. What you need from the workbook can change as you learn, heal, and hear yourself more clearly.
CHOOSING PEACE
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Disclaimer and Safety
Use this workbook as education and reflection - never as a replacement for individualized care.
This workbook is educational. It is not psychotherapy, diagnosis, medical treatment, legal advice, or a substitute for qualified professional care.
Use it as a companion to your self-growth journey. It may complement - but does not replace - care from a licensed therapist, medical provider, or other qualified professional. If strong emotions, memories, symptoms, health concerns, or safety questions arise during these guided wellness experiences, pause and connect with an appropriate health-care provider, licensed mental-health professional, crisis service, or advocate.
CBT-style exercises, mindfulness, breathwork, somatic awareness, movement, expressive art, nature, spiritual ritual, aromatherapy, massage, yoga, and other complementary practices may not fit every person or condition.
Adapt,
skip, or stop them based on health, ability, medication, allergy, trauma history, culture, sensory needs, and professional guidance.
Outside the U.S., use local crisis and emergency services.
If a partner or former partner is threatening, stalking, monitoring, isolating, coercing, or harming you, individualized safety planning may be important. Leaving can increase danger in some abusive relationships.
My crisis, medical, advocacy, and trusted-person contacts Choose privacy and safety over completing or keeping any written page. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
CHOOSING PEACE
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Right Now: An Anxiety Grounding Menu
Choose one small interruption that helps you reconnect with the present. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Do not force calm or complete every item. Stop anything that increases panic, pain, dizziness, numbness, or distress.
Orient and interrupt the loop (cid:127) Name five rectangles, four colors, three sounds, two textures, and one clue that tells you where you are. (cid:127) Read nearby words backward, name an animal for each letter, or count down by an unusual number. (cid:127) Let your eyes slowly trace the room's edges while your head stays comfortable.
Use sensation and movement (cid:127) Press your feet into the floor, push your palms into a wall, or squeeze and slowly release a towel. (cid:127) Hold a cool object or use cool water on your hands or face only if temperature changes are medically safe.
Avoid
extreme cold. (cid:127) Hum, chew gum, or try a mint or sour flavor if safe for swallowing, allergies, teeth, and sensory needs.
Borrow steadiness
(cid:127) Text: I do not need solutions. Can you stay with me for ten minutes? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ (cid:127) Change rooms, sit near a doorway, step outside, watch something familiar, use a blanket, or care for a plant or animal.
Try one option for 30 to 90 seconds.
Did it help me feel even 5% more present, supported, or able to choose? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
CHOOSING PEACE
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My Next 24-72 Hours
Stabilize a small window of time instead of solving everything at once.
In the next hour: basic need, safer place, grounding step, or person to contact In the next 24 hours: one appointment, practical task, boundary, or support In the next 72 hours: check-in person and signs I need more help
Quick safety plan
(cid:127) My warning signs: ____________________________________ (cid:127) People and safer places: ______________________________ (cid:127) Professional, crisis, medical, or advocacy support: ______ (cid:127) How I will reduce access to anything I could use to hurt myself or
someone else:
__________________________________
Live help
911 immediate danger | 988 U.S. crisis support | 800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788 for domestic-violence support Washington practical and family support: call 211. Parent Trust Family Help Line: 800-932-HOPE (4673).
Eastern
Washington/North Idaho directory: thefigtree.org.
If you may act on thoughts of suicide or harming someone, cannot stay safe, face violence, overdose, or another immediate danger: contact emergency services now.
Use a safer device or location if another person may monitor you. Keep this page only if it is safe.
CHOOSING PEACE
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Whole-Health Check-In
Moving forward includes caring for the body that is carrying you there.
Use this checklist to prepare questions and organize follow-up. It is not a universal schedule. Medical, dental, laboratory, and screening needs depend on age, history, symptoms, medications, pregnancy status, disability, risks, and access. Ask qualified clinicians what is appropriate for you.
Review or schedule
Primary-care or preventive visit Medication, supplement, and side-effect review Blood pressure, vital signs, and recommended vaccines Age- and risk-appropriate screenings Sexual or reproductive health care, if relevant Vision and hearing care Dental exam, cleaning, pain, gums, or oral-health concerns Sleep, pain, nutrition, movement, and substance-use concerns Mental-health symptoms and support Follow-up on referrals or previous abnormal results Bloodwork or other tests recommended for my individual health history Appointments, records, questions, and follow-up Not every blood test is needed every year. Ask your clinician which monitoring and preventive services fit you.
CHOOSING PEACE
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Washington Crisis and Support Resources
Save live resources before they are needed, and use a safer device if monitoring is a concern. 911 - immediate danger Call or text 911 for emergencies threatening life or property, including physical violence or serious injury, fire,
overdose, unconsciousness, or a suicide attempt in progress. 988 - crisis and emotional distress Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. Washington's 988 Lifeline is free, confidential, and available 24/7 for suicidal thoughts, mental-health crisis, substance-use concerns, or emotional distress. Veterans: press 1. Native &
Strong:
press 4 or text N8V to 988. 211 - practical and community support Call 211 or text your ZIP code to 898211 to locate food, shelter, transportation, health care, rent or utility assistance, caregiver support, disability services, and more. Hours vary.
Domestic violence support
Find Washington advocacy programs at wscadv.org. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or visit thehotline.org. Advocates can help with individualized safety planning.
Washington links
doh.wa.gov/988 hca.wa.gov/mental-health-crisis-lines warecoveryhelpline.org Planning supports a future.
Live crisis, advocacy, emergency, medical, and dental needs deserve live help.
CHOOSING PEACE
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Finding Local Support - Washington and Nationwide
Use a navigator when you do not know which program fits the need.
Availability and eligibility change. Confirm details directly with each service.
Anywhere in the United States
211 / 211.org - local referrals for food, housing, utilities, transportation, health care, family support, caregiver support, and
basic needs. family logistics.gov/state-resources - family support, financial assistance, Head Start, disability supports, and family resources by state or territory. findtreatment.gov - confidential locator for U.S. mental-health and substance-use treatment. thehotline.org - domestic-violence support and safety planning; 800-799-SAFE (7233), or text START to 88788.
Across Washington
wa211.org / 211 - statewide service referrals. helpmegrowwa.org - family navigators for food, health, basic needs, and child development in every county. parenttrust.org / 800-932-HOPE (4673) - Family Help Line for parents and caregivers. wscadv.org - domestic-violence programs and advocacy.
Eastern Washington and North Idaho
thefigtree.org - online directory of community, family, health, food, housing, senior, cultural, faith-community, and emergency resources.
Directories help you find options.
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This Is Not the End of Healing
It is the beginning of living with yourself on your own side.
The first volume welcomed you home to yourself. The second helped you reclaim your voice. This final volume asks a new question: What kind of life can you build from here? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
Moving forward does not mean you never feel grief, anger, fear, or longing again. It means those feelings no longer make every decision. Peace becomes a practice: protecting your energy, meeting your needs, allowing joy, choosing healthy connection, and creating a future that does not require self-abandonment.
You are not starting over.
You are starting with experience, wisdom, and a growing relationship with yourself.
How to use this volume ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Complete pages in any order. Write, sketch, circle, or return later. Let plans be flexible enough to support real life.
The
purpose is not to produce a perfect new self; it is to build conditions in which your actual self can thrive.
What do I hope peace will make room for? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
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An Eclectic Path to Healing
Try several evidence-informed and creative approaches; keep what supports you and leave what does not.
1. Which approaches help me think more clearly?
2. Which practices help my body feel safer or more present?
3. Which creative, cultural, spiritual, or nature-based practices feel meaningful?
4. What would I like to explore with a qualified professional?
There is no single correct doorway into healing. Choice, safety, culture, access, and personal meaning all matter.
APPROACH I WANT TO TRY
HOW I WILL PRACTICE SAFELY
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CBT Thought Check
Examine a painful thought without shaming yourself for having it.
1. What happened, and what thought appeared automatically?
2. What emotion and body response followed?
3. What evidence supports the thought, and what evidence adds context?
4. What balanced thought is honest, compassionate, and useful?
A balanced thought is not forced positivity. It makes room for the whole picture.
AUTOMATIC THOUGHT AND EVIDENCE
BALANCED RESPONSE AND NEXT ACTION
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Mindfulness: Return to Now
Practice noticing the present without demanding that it feel peaceful.
1. What can I see, hear, feel, smell, or taste right now?
2. Where is breath easiest to notice without changing it?
3. What thought can I label simply as "thinking"?
4. What deserves my attention in this one moment?
Mindfulness is not emptying the mind. It is noticing where attention went and gently choosing again.
WHAT I NOTICE
WHAT I CHOOSE TO RETURN TO
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Somatic Listening
Treat body sensations as information while staying within a tolerable pace.
1. Where do I notice tension, warmth, heaviness, movement, numbness, or ease?
2. What happens if I look around the room while noticing it?
3. Would my body prefer movement, stillness, pressure, distance, sound, or
support?
4. What is one small response that feels safe enough?
You do not need to force a release or relive a memory. Small moments of choice and present-time safety count.
BODY SIGNAL
GENTLE RESPONSE
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Expressive Art: Peace Has a Shape
Use image, color, and symbol where words feel limited.
1. Choose colors that represent peace as it feels today - not as it should look.
2. Draw a central symbol for the part of you that keeps returning.
3. Add lines showing what protects, nourishes, and connects it.
4. Where could one unfinished area remain open for future growth?
The image does not need to be beautiful, explained, interpreted, or shared.
COLORS, SYMBOLS, AND MEANING
SKETCH, PATTERN, OR COLLAGE PLAN
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Nature and Complementary Practices
Explore supportive rituals without treating them as cures or replacements for care.
1. Which nature practice feels accessible: sunlight, plants, gardening, water, sky,
walking, or sitting outdoors?
2. Which complementary practice interests me: breathwork, gentle yoga,
meditation, music, massage, aromatherapy, or spiritual ritual? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
3. Are there health, trauma, medication, allergy, mobility, cultural, or sensory
considerations?
4. Who can help me decide what is safe and appropriate?
Complementary practices can support well-being; they should not replace needed medical or mental-health treatment.
PRACTICE AND INTENTION
SAFETY, ACCESS, AND SUPPORT
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Putting Yourself First Without Becoming Selfish
Practice giving your needs a place in the decision instead of automatically placing yourself last.
1. Where do I routinely abandon my needs to prevent disappointment or conflict?
2. What am I afraid others will think if I choose myself?
3. What is the difference between protecting my well-being and disregarding
someone else?
4. What decision would change if my needs counted equally?
Putting yourself first does not mean nobody else matters. It means you are included among the people whose needs deserve care.
WHERE I PLACE MYSELF LAST
A SELF-HONORING CHOICE
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Needs That Have Gone Unmet
Name needs clearly enough to begin responding to them now.
1. Which physical, emotional, relational, practical, creative, spiritual, or safety
needs have been neglected?
2. Which need belongs to me to meet, which can be requested, and which needs
professional or community support?
3. What has kept me from naming or meeting it?
4. What is the smallest respectful response I can offer this week?
An unmet need is not evidence that you are too much. It is information about care, support, boundaries, resources, or compatibility.
NEED AND WHAT IT IS ASKING FOR
FIRST RESPONSE OR RESOURCE
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Self-Love as a Daily Practice
Turn self-love from an idea into repeated, observable care.
1. How do I speak to myself when I make a mistake?
2. What action tells my body it is worth protecting?
3. What promise can I keep consistently?
4. What would loyalty to myself look like today?
Self-love is not constant confidence. It is the decision not to become your own enemy.
HOW I ALREADY LOVE MYSELF
HOW I WILL PRACTICE NEXT
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Self-Care That Actually Restores
Separate genuine care from avoidance, pressure, performance, and expensive distraction.
1. What leaves me more regulated afterward?
2. What looks like self-care but leaves me depleted?
3. Which care is physical, emotional, social, practical, creative, or spiritual?
4. What support should not be done alone?
Real self-care may be comforting, boring, brave, practical, pleasurable, or boundaried.
WHAT RESTORES ME
WHAT DRAINS OR DISTRACTS ME
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The Whole-Person Care Audit
Notice what needs attention without turning your life into a self-improvement project.
1. How are sleep, food, movement, medication, and health care going?
2. Where do I need emotional or professional support?
3. Which practical task would reduce background stress?
4. Where do play, creativity, nature, and connection belong?
Care works best as a rhythm, not a rescue mission.
AREA NEEDING CARE
ONE REALISTIC NEXT STEP
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Body Basics Before Big Answers
Return to foundational needs when the mind wants to solve everything at once.
1. Have I eaten, hydrated, rested, moved, and taken prescribed medication?
2. What sensation tells me I need a pause?
3. Which form of movement feels supportive rather than punishing?
4. What appointment or health concern needs follow-through?
You are allowed to meet a basic need before finding a profound answer.
BODY SIGNAL OR NEED
HOW I CAN RESPOND
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Rest Without Earning It
Challenge the belief that rest must be purchased through exhaustion.
1. What messages taught me to feel guilty for resting?
2. How does my body behave when it is overdue for rest?
3. What kind of rest do I need: physical, sensory, social, mental, creative, or
emotional?
4. What can be good enough instead of finished perfectly?
Rest is maintenance for a human nervous system, not a reward for becoming useful enough.
PERMISSION I NEED
REST I CAN SCHEDULE
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Make Home Feel Like Yours
Use space, routine, and sensory details to support safety and identity.
1. Which area could feel calmer with one small change?
2. What objects, scents, sounds, textures, or colors feel like me?
3. What reminder of the past needs a new location or decision?
4. What ritual could mark arriving home?
A sanctuary can begin with one chair, one drawer, one light, or one protected hour.
CHANGE TO MY SPACE
FEELING IT SUPPORTS
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Your Personal Peace Menu
Create options for different energy levels instead of relying on one coping tool.
1. What helps when I have only two minutes?
2. What helps when I have twenty minutes?
3. What helps when I need connection?
4. What helps when I need quiet, movement, creativity, or nature?
Peace does not have one recipe. Build a menu you can choose from.
LOW-ENERGY OPTIONS
MORE INVOLVED OPTIONS
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Let Joy Be Safe Again
Practice allowing pleasure without waiting for every problem to be resolved.
1. What small pleasure asks nothing from me?
2. When does joy trigger guilt, fear, or the expectation that something bad will
follow?
3. Who or what helps joy feel steady rather than chaotic?
4. What joyful experiment could I try this month?
Joy does not betray what you survived. It proves pain does not own every room in your life.
JOY I REMEMBER
JOY I WILL INVITE
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Rediscover Who You Are
Rebuild identity beyond the relationship and the role you played inside it.
1. What did I enjoy before I began shrinking or surviving?
2. What am I curious about now?
3. Which qualities feel most like me?
4. What identity, style, interest, or dream would I like to explore?
You do not have to recover an old version of yourself. You are allowed to meet who you are becoming.
PARTS I AM RECLAIMING
PARTS I AM DISCOVERING
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Friendship and Chosen Community
Build belonging that allows honesty, individuality, and mutual care.
1. Who helps me feel more like myself?
2. Which connection needs repair, distance, or clearer expectations?
3. Where could I meet people around shared values or interests?
4. What kind of friend do I want to be without overgiving?
Healthy belonging makes room for your voice; it does not require you to disappear.
CONNECTION TO NURTURE
HEALTHY ACTION OR REQUEST
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Receiving Help Without Shame
Practice interdependence instead of isolation or carrying everything alone.
1. What kind of help is hardest to receive?
2. What story do I tell myself about needing others?
3. Who has shown they can help without controlling or shaming me?
4. What specific, manageable request could I make?
Needing support is not evidence that you are failing. It is evidence that you are human among humans.
SUPPORT I NEED
PERSON OR RESOURCE TO ASK
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Practical Peace
Reduce avoidable stress through small steps with money, paperwork, health, and daily life.
1. Which unfinished task repeatedly occupies mental space?
2. What can be handled in fifteen minutes?
3. What needs expert help or a second set of eyes?
4. What system could make the task easier next time?
Practical care is emotional care when it gives your nervous system fewer fires to monitor.
TASK OR CONCERN
SMALLEST NEXT ACTION
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Work, Purpose, and Enoughness
Build meaning without making productivity the price of worth.
1. What parts of work feel meaningful, neutral, or draining?
2. What strengths do I want to use more often?
3. What does enough look like in this season?
4. Where can purpose exist outside paid work?
Purpose can be quiet. Worth does not rise and fall with output.
WHAT GIVES MEANING
WHAT PROTECTS BALANCE
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Digital Peace
Choose how technology enters your attention, comparison, memory, and rest.
1. Which apps or habits reliably disturb my peace?
2. What boundaries would protect sleep and focus?
3. What digital spaces support learning, laughter, or connection?
4. What will I do with the time and attention I reclaim?
Attention is part of your life. You are allowed to decide who and what receives it.
DIGITAL BOUNDARY
LIFE IT MAKES ROOM FOR
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Release Without Erasing
Decide what you are ready to put down while keeping the wisdom.
1. Which argument am I still rehearsing?
2. What answer may never arrive?
3. What can remain true without being reviewed every day?
4. What ritual could mark a temporary or lasting release?
Release is not approval, forgetting, or forced forgiveness. It is choosing where your life energy goes now.
TRUTH I KEEP
BURDEN I RELEASE
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Trusting Calm
Learn that steadiness can be meaningful even when it is less intense than familiar chaos.
1. What sensations arise when life becomes quiet?
2. Do I confuse anxiety, uncertainty, or pursuit with chemistry?
3. What does safe excitement feel like?
4. How can I stay present long enough to learn calm?
Peace may feel unfamiliar before it feels good. Unfamiliar does not mean empty.
OLD INTENSITY CUE
NEW SIGN OF SAFETY
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Meet Your Future Self
Imagine a supported future self without demanding certainty or perfection.
1. How does future me speak to themselves?
2. What boundaries protect their peace?
3. Who and what surround them?
4. What ordinary Tuesday tells me life has changed?
A future becomes believable when it includes ordinary details, flexible plans, and small bridges from today.
FUTURE DETAIL
BRIDGE FROM TODAY
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A Vision for a Healthy Life
Plan across several areas so one relationship is never asked to become your entire world.
1. What do I want for health and emotional well-being?
2. What do I want for home, money, work, or learning?
3. What do I want for friendship, family, community, and love?
4. What do I want for joy, creativity, nature, rest, and purpose?
A full life has many rooms. Love can live in it without becoming the whole house.
LIFE AREA AND VISION
FIRST SUPPORTING STEP
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Goals That Protect Peace
Choose goals that support your values instead of reenacting pressure and self-criticism.
1. Why does this goal matter to me?
2. What is the smallest version that still counts?
3. What support, boundary, or environment makes success more likely?
4. How will I respond compassionately if the plan changes?
A peaceful goal has direction and structure without using shame as fuel.
GOAL AND NEXT STEP
SUPPORT AND FLEXIBILITY
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The Next 90 Days
Turn hope into a short, realistic season of focused care.
1. What one area needs stabilization?
2. What one area wants growth?
3. What one area needs joy or play?
4. What will I intentionally postpone?
You do not have to rebuild every part of life at once. Choose a season, not a total reinvention.
PRIORITY FOR THIS SEASON
WEEKLY ACTION
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When Progress Wobbles
Prepare for grief waves, triggers, loneliness, and old urges without calling them failure.
1. What tends to happen before a wobble?
2. What helps me recover sooner?
3. What choice should wait until I feel steadier?
4. Who belongs in my support plan?
Progress is not never wobbling. It is learning how to return with less shame and more support.
MY WARNING SIGNS
MY RETURN PLAN
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Dating Readiness - Not a Deadline
Decide whether connection supports your life now without using a relationship to prove recovery.
1. Am I curious about another person, or desperate to escape a feeling?
2. Can I keep routines, friendships, boundaries, and pace while dating?
3. Can I tolerate disappointment without abandoning my standards?
4. What would choosing not yet protect or make possible?
Readiness is not the absence of fear. It is enough steadiness to remain in relationship with yourself.
SIGNS I MAY BE READY
REASONS TO WAIT OR SLOW DOWN
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Your Blueprint for Healthy Love
Describe the daily behaviors that make love sustainable, mutual, and safe.
1. How do we communicate and repair?
2. How are privacy, consent, money, time, and independence respected?
3. How do words and actions stay consistent?
4. What happens when needs or boundaries differ?
Healthy love is not perfect agreement. It is mutual dignity, freedom, accountability, safety, and repair.
WHAT HEALTHY LOVE DOES
WHAT I WILL CONTRIBUTE
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Promises to Yourself
Create commitments that remain yours regardless of who enters or leaves your life.
1. What will I no longer explain away?
2. What need will I take seriously?
3. What part of life will I keep for myself?
4. How will I return when I forget one of these promises?
A promise to yourself is not a threat of perfection. It is a path back home.
PROMISE I MAKE
HOW I WILL HONOR IT
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Self-Care Idea Bank: Body and Daily Life
Circle what sounds supportive, cross out what does not, and add your own.
BODY CARE
PRACTICAL CARE
Drink water or prepare a favorite nonalcoholic drink Open one piece of mail Eat something nourishing and accessible Pay or plan one bill Take prescribed medication as directed
Refill a prescription
Schedule or attend a health appointment
Make one appointment
Brush and floss teeth Clear one small surface Shower, bathe, wash face, or change clothes Prepare tomorrow's clothing or bag Rest eyes and reduce sensory input Set a reminder or calendar event Stretch, walk, roll, dance, garden, or move gently Ask someone to help with a task Use heat, cold, compression, or comfort if medically appropriate Make a simple meal easier for later Prepare for sleep with a softer routine Unsubscribe, mute, block, or reduce a digital stressor Step outside or sit near daylight Gather documents into one place Ask about pain, sleep, fatigue, or other symptoms Choose what can wait Self-care is sometimes soothing.
Sometimes it is the practical act that makes tomorrow less heavy.
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Self-Care Idea Bank: Heart, Mind, Spirit, and Connection
Build a menu broad enough to meet different moods, needs, abilities, and energy levels.
EMOTIONAL / CREATIVE / SPIRITUAL
SOCIAL / GREEN / COMMUNITY
Name the feeling without arguing with it Text someone a specific request Write one uncensored page, then stop Ask for company without needing advice Use a balanced-thought worksheet Attend a group, class, library, or community event Listen to music that matches or shifts the mood Spend time with a safe person Create, color, collage, knit, cook, photograph, or make Play with or care for an animal Read something comforting or absorbing Sit outside, tend a plant, or notice the sky Practice five minutes of mindfulness Take a green break beside a window Pray, meditate, attend ritual, or connect with meaning Volunteer in a manageable way Notice three neutral or pleasant details Plan something small to anticipate Offer yourself one kind and believable sentence Practice saying no or not yet Set a time limit on rumination Schedule therapy or professional support Let yourself cry, laugh, or rest without explaining Choose solitude intentionally rather than
disappearing Ideas that fit me, my culture, my body, my budget, and my real life
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
Make It Self-Care
Transform an ordinary task by changing the intention, pace, environment, and support.
1. What task or need am I avoiding?
2. What makes it difficult: energy, fear, cost, pain, executive function, shame, or
lack of information?
3. How can I shrink, simplify, pair, adapt, delegate, or schedule it?
4. What comfort, meaning, reward, company, or recovery can surround it?
Self-care is not only what you do. It is also how gently, realistically, and respectfully you help yourself do it.
TASK AS IT FEELS NOW
THE CARING VERSION OF THE TASK
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
Getting Active With Care
Use movement to support energy, function, mood, and connection - not to punish your body.
1. What movement do I enjoy, tolerate, or feel curious about?
2. What health, pain, disability, balance, medication, pregnancy, or safety factors
should I discuss with a clinician?
3. What is the smallest starting amount that feels realistic?
4. Where, when, with whom, and with what equipment or adaptation could it
happen?
Some movement is more supportive than none. Start within your abilities, build gradually, and seek individualized medical guidance when needed.
MOVEMENT OPTIONS
SAFE FIRST STEP AND SUPPORT
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
Accountability Without Shame
Create structures that help you return instead of systems that punish you for being human.
1. What am I choosing to practice, and why does it matter?
2. Would a person, calendar, group, app, appointment, visual cue, or prepared
environment help?
3. How often will I check in, and what will I track besides completion?
4. What is my return plan after a missed day?
Accountability is a compassionate agreement with your future self - not surveillance, humiliation, or a perfect streak.
MY SUPPORT STRUCTURE
MY KIND RETURN PLAN
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
A Seven-Day Self-Care Starter
Choose one doable act each day and learn from the pattern rather than grading yourself.
Pick actions that take 5 to 20 minutes unless more time truly fits. Include at least one body need, one practical
need, one connection, one joy or nature practice, and one period of rest.
DAY
CARE I WILL TRY
WHEN / CUE
SUPPORT
WHAT I NOTICED
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
At the end of seven days, ask:
What helped, what got in the way, and what deserves another try?
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
My 30-Day Peace Plan
Choose small actions that make the future visible in the present.
Select one practice in each category. Keep it gentle enough to repeat.
Body: sleep, food, movement, health care, medication, or sensory regulation Heart: compassion, grief support, therapy, journaling, or honest connection Life: home, money, work, paperwork, learning, or a practical task Joy: nature, creativity, play, music, laughter, rest, or curiosity The plan succeeds when it supports you - not when you perform it perfectly.
MY FOUR PRACTICES
HOW I WILL MAKE THEM EASIER
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
Thirty Days of Returning
Track contact with your intentions, not perfection.
In each square, add a check, color, symbol, word, or tiny note. A mark can mean you practiced, adapted, rested intentionally, asked for help, or returned after missing a day. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
WHAT SUPPORTED CONSISTENCY
WHAT I WILL ADJUST NEXT MONTH
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
A Letter From the Life Ahead
Write from a future that feels steadier, fuller, and genuinely yours.
Imagine that a future version of you is writing back. They do not need a perfect life. They have simply practiced choosing peace often enough that it has become familiar.
Let them tell you what mattered, what did not, which small choices changed everything, what love feels like now, and what they are grateful you began today.
Dear me, thank you for beginning...
Keep this letter where hope can find you.
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
Safety and Scope
Support the future by protecting the person who is living today.
This workbook provides education, reflection, creative exercises, and general wellness planning. It is not psychotherapy, diagnosis, medical treatment, legal advice, or a substitute for individualized professional care.
Mindfulness, breathwork, movement, expressive art, nature, spiritual ritual, aromatherapy, massage, yoga, and other complementary practices may not fit every person or condition. Adapt or skip them based on health, disability, medication, allergy, sensory needs, culture, trauma history, and guidance from qualified professionals.
Outside the U.S., use local crisis and emergency services.
If a partner or former partner is threatening, stalking, coercing, monitoring, isolating, or harming you, individualized safety planning may be important. Separation can increase danger in some abusive relationships. Consider contacting a domestic violence advocate from a safer device or place.
PEOPLE AND SAFER PLACES
CRISIS, MEDICAL, AND ADVOCACY CONTACTS
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
Resources and Further Support
Reliable places to learn more, find help, and continue building well-being.
Emotional wellness and whole-person care
NIH Emotional Wellness Toolkit
Practical information on resilience, stress, sleep, grief, mindfulness, social connection, and coping. nih.gov/health-information/your-healthiest-self-wellness-toolkits/emotional-wellness-toolkit
CDC Mental Health
Mental health information and links to support resources. cdc.gov/mental-health
SAMHSA
Behavioral health education, treatment-finding resources, trauma information, and recovery support. samhsa.gov
Physical care
CDC Physical Activity Basics
Guidance on movement and adapting activity to health, ability, and circumstances. Some activity can offer benefits, and individualized medical guidance may be appropriate. cdc.gov/physical-activity-basics
CDC Sleep and Health
Education about sleep habits and physical well-being. cdc.gov/sleep Healthy relationships and safety
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
Relationship education, safety-planning information, and confidential U.S. support. thehotline.org love is respect Education on healthy relationships, boundaries, warning signs, and the relationship spectrum. loveisrespect.org
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (United States)
Call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org. Outside the U.S., use local emergency or crisis services.
Resources support choice; they do not replace individualized medical, mental health, legal, or safety advice.
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
My Personal Resource Plan
Turn a list of websites into support you could actually use.
Add local and culturally relevant resources wherever possible. If privacy is a concern, consider where this page is
stored and whether someone can access your device or workbook.
Professional support: therapist, counselor, doctor, advocate, attorney, financial counselor, or support group Immediate support: trusted person, crisis line, emergency service, shelter, or safe location Everyday support: friend, family member, neighbor, community, faith group, class, or activity Practical support: transportation, family logistics, housing, food, health care, technology, or paperwork
RESOURCE AND CONTACT DETAILS
WHEN AND HOW I WILL USE IT
CHOOSING PEACE
danger: emergency services.
You Are Already on Your Way
A closing page for the whole three-volume journey.
You welcomed yourself home.
You reclaimed your voice.
Now you are choosing peace.
Not once. Not perfectly. But faithfully, one life-giving choice at a time.
Your worth was never waiting at the finish line.
Your future does not need permission to become beautiful.
And the love you are learning to give yourself can begin again today.
May the life ahead feel less like proving and more like belonging.
MY PEACE
services.
My Peace Audit
Peace is not constant calm. It can mean less self-betrayal, more choice, workable routines, supportive relationships, and quicker return after stress.
PAUSE AND ASK YOURSELF
Where is peace already present in a form I have overlooked?
WHAT SUPPORTS PEACE
WHAT QUIETLY DRAINS IT
People
Places and routines
Unfinished practical matters
MY PEACE
services.
The Maintenance Plan
Growth is easier to sustain when warning signs, supports, and reset actions are named before a difficult season.
PAUSE AND ASK YOURSELF
What tells me I am drifting away from myself - and what helps me return sooner?
EARLY WARNING SIGN
RESET ACTION OR SUPPORT
Body and sleep
Boundaries and contact
Health and practical care
MY PEACE
services.
A Joy Plan with Permission to Change
Joy may be quiet, social, sensory, creative, spiritual, playful, restful, or purposeful. It should not become another performance.
PAUSE AND ASK YOURSELF
What kind of joy fits the life and capacity I actually have today?
JOY I WANT TO INVITE
ACCESS, SUPPORT, OR ADAPTATION
Low-cost option
Five-minute option
Shared or private option
MY PEACE
services.
Letter from a Peaceful Future
A future letter can make hope specific without demanding certainty. Describe daily choices, supports, relationships, and the way you speak to yourself.
PAUSE AND ASK YOURSELF
What would future me thank me for beginning gently now?
A LETTER FROM THE LIFE I AM BUILDING
Name ordinary details
Include support and setbacks Let peace be imperfect danger or medical emergency. Call or text 988 in the U.S. or Canada for suicide or mental health crisis
support. Copyright Michelle D. Elder,
MSW, LMHC. My Reflective Collective.
More free My Reflective Collective tools
Printable links below. The worksheet wording itself is unchanged.
Scan the QR code or use the first link to open this worksheet online.
The online reader can support read-aloud tools and browser translation.
Read/listen to this worksheet online https://myreflectivecollective.com/worksheet-reader.html?file= my-peace-workbook.pdf Positive affirmations and short mantras
Scan to read/listen
https://myreflectivecollective.com/affirmations.html Soundscapes and grounding audio tools https://myreflectivecollective.com/soundscapes.html
More free worksheets and PDFs
https://myreflectivecollective.com/resource-center.html Crisis and safety resources https://myreflectivecollective.com/crisis-resources.html
Website disclaimer
https://myreflectivecollective.com/disclaimer.html
Educational wellness notice
This worksheet and website offer educational wellness and self-reflection tools only.
They are not therapy, diagnosis, medical care, legal advice, crisis care, or individualized safety planning.
Pause or stop any activity that feels wrong, unsafe, inaccessible, or too much.
For immediate danger or a medical emergency, call 911. In the U.S., call or text 988 for crisis support.
Michelle D. Elder, MSW, LMHC | My Reflective Collective
SAFETY, PRIVACY & EDUCATIONAL USE
MY REFLECTIVE COLLECTIVE - MICHELLE D. ELDER, MSW, LMHC
If there is immediate danger or a medical emergency: Call 911 in the United States or use your local emergency number. For U.S. suicide or mental-health crisis support, call or text 988. For relationship-safety support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or visit TheHotline.org from a safer device when possible.
Privacy and safer searching If someone may monitor your device, accounts, internet connection, location, downloads, or browser activity, consider using a safer device and a trusted network. Private browsing may reduce locally saved history but does not make activity invisible. Clearing history can also be noticed. A website Quick Exit button changes the page; it cannot erase browser,
download, router, account, employer, school, carrier, or device records. Choose only steps that feel safer in your situation.
Do not store identifying or safety-sensitive answers where another person may find them.
Educational scope and professional limits This resource provides general psychoeducation, reflection, and wellness support. It is not therapy, counseling, diagnosis, assessment, treatment, medical advice, legal advice, crisis response, forensic evaluation, or an individualized safety plan.
It does not replace care from a licensed clinician, healthcare professional, attorney, trained advocate, emergency service, or other qualified professional. Laws, court procedures, services, and risks vary by location and circumstance.
Choice, pacing, and inclusion You may skip, change, discuss, dictate, draw, pause, or stop any activity. No exercise can determine what you experienced, diagnose a condition, prove a legal claim, guarantee safety, or tell you whether to stay, leave, report, reconcile, forgive, or pursue court action. Adapt language and activities for culture, identity, disability, neurotype, age, literacy, sensory needs, and personal preference. Automatic translation can make mistakes; confirm legal, medical, emergency, and safety-critical wording with a qualified person.
Copyright and sharing
Created by Michelle D. Elder, MSW, LMHC for My Reflective Collective. Free for personal educational use and supportive discussion. Keep the creator credit and this safety page with the resource when sharing. Do not sell, misrepresent, or present it as individualized clinical or legal advice.
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EDUCATIONAL RESOURCE - NOT THERAPY OR INDIVIDUALIZED CARE
Immediate danger or medical emergency: call 911 | U.S. crisis support: call or text 988 | Michelle D. Elder, MSW, LMHC